18 Ways Watching “Project Runway” Is A Religious Experience

I’mma let you finish, Top Chef

Project Runway’s divine brilliance was fortold generations ago, and its genius is an indisputable fact.

Paramount Pictures
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1. High Priestess of Style Nina Garcia gives celestial advice that viewers can (and should) incorporate into their own life.

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2. Our Lady of Transcendent Fashion Heidi Klum asks the hard-hitting questions about life.

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3. Angelic DILF of Exalted Sophistication Tim Gunn is like the gay dad everyone wanted, offering frank guidance through the jungles of style.

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4. And even though he’s left the show, Eternal Deacon of Too Much Bronzer Michael Kors will always be remembered for his hilariously bitchy comments.

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5. Project Runway offers lowly humans a chance to present their artwork to a panel of almighty fashion deities, thus living out their dreams.


(For one to 15 episodes, anyway.)

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6. …and the merciful producers at Lifetime allow you to witness the beauty being created from your own couch, every Thursday at 9 p.m.

Lifetime, Mondo Guerra / Via wordpress.com
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7. Just like Jesus turned water into wine, the contestants regularly have to turn unconventional materials into beautiful garments.




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8. Even the models get prizes at the end of the show, because the gift of Project Runway is endless and sublime.

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9. It’s one of the only reality shows that produces real-life talent, inspiring everyone with a pair of scissors and a bolt of muslin.

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10. “Make it work” is a mantra everyone can get behind.


Heidi full of grace, the style is with thee.
Blessed art thou amongst the Belk accessory wall,
and blessed is the bobbin of thy Brother sewing machine,
for thou hast given birth to a garment Heidi would totally wear to the Emmy’s.

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11. Project Runway introduced us to Swatch the Boston Terrier, the only animal to be ordained in the Holy Church of Fashion.

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12. The show features outrageous villains, and even though their acts are treacherous, you forgive them, for they know not what they do.




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13. The workroom at Parsons is a safe haven for the strange, the gentle, and the delusional.

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14. All the weirdos are welcome at the Divine Chapel of Silk Chiffon, offering a sense of community to the unwashed masses.

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15. When a contestant is saved from elimination by the judges’ benevolent goodwill, you weep openly.

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16. When a wicked evildoer is booted off the show, you sing exalted praises to the skies.

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17. Project Runway even offers second chances to past contestants, because those who repent in the name of Fashion will receive the gift of the Holy Cash Prize, courtesy of L’Oréal.

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18. When one season ends, you know not to grieve, for a new season is just around the corner.

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