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The 9 Types Of People Who Show Up At Thanksgiving Dinner

Whether it’s a family dinner, a neighborhood potluck, or a gathering of friends, these people can be found at every holiday feast.

1. The one who drank waaay too much pumpkin ale and is flirting with e-v-e-r-y-o-n-e.

Adam Ellis / Buzzfeed

Thanksgiving food of choice: Beer, ale, cranberry schnapps, Kahlua, whatchu got?
Would rather be: In a couple hours, home in bed, passed out.

2. The one who brought their own special food, but not enough to share.

Adam Ellis / BuzzFeed

Thanksgiving food of choice: The organic free-range macrobiotic bean mash they brought in a Tupperware. And they need your oven for, like, 30 minutes, tops. Thaaaaanks.
Would rather be: Shopping on Goop.

3. The one who’s been cooking since dawn and is this close to cutting someone.

Adam Ellis / BuzzFeed

Thanksgiving food of choice: At this point the mere sight of food is nauseating.
Would rather be: Dead.

4. The one who ate waaay too much food and is about to be flirting with the toilet.

Adam Ellis / BuzzFeed

Thanksgiving food of choice: Yes.
Would rather be: In a time machine so they could travel back in time and maybe not inhale five slices of turkey, three pounds of mashed potatoes, and a whole bucket of peppermint bark.

5. The one who brought half a bag of chips even though it’s a potluck dinner and it’s like, really, dude?

Adam Ellis / BuzzFeed

Thanksgiving food of choice: Willing to bet it’s not the nasty-ass stale Doritos they brought.
Would rather be: Playing Xbox, so if you could make him a doggie bag to go…

6. The weird one nobody really knows, and no one is quite sure who invited.

Adam Ellis / BuzzFeed

Thanksgiving food of choice: Stuffing and tap water.
Would rather be: Traveling through space and time on the back of a luck dragon. Or maybe at home watching Two Broke Girls on Hulu.

7. The ~foodie~ who takes a million photos of their food.

Adam Ellis

Adam Ellis

 

Thanksgiving food of choice: It totally depends on which filter they’re using. Walden for mashed potatoes, Earlybird for turkey, X-Pro II for cranberry sauce…
Would rather be: Havin’ Thanksgiving dinner at Diddy’s house, whaaaaaaaaaat.

8. The one who keeps reminding everyone that Thanksgiving was invented by Hallmark or it’s all about massacres or whatever.

Adam Ellis / BuzzFeed

Thanksgiving food of choice: THE COLD HARD TRUTH
Would rather be: At the head of the table so their voice travels better.

9. Someone’s dog hovering around, desperately hoping for scraps.

Adam Ellis / BuzzFeed

Thanksgiving food of choice: Something. Anything. What is that? I want it. Gimme it. I need it. Please. I want it. Give it to me.
Would rather be: JUST GIMME THE FOOD OMG GIMME IT

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