1. The one who parties ‘til dawn and has to be forcibly removed from the bar.
Drink of choice: Mind Eraser shots + vodka Red Bulls. And in the morning, a gallon of coconut water.
2. The DRAMA QUEEN.
Drink of choice: shots, shots, shots.
4. The one who finds the bar’s iPod and plays something nobody wants to listen to.
Drink of choice: A local craft beer. Something dark. You’ve probably never had it before.
5. The one who’s crossfaded.
Drink of choice: PBR (they spent all their money on weed).
6. The one who can’t stop crying.
Drink of choice: white wine in the nighttime.
7. The one who’s been asleep in the corner booth since, like, 9 PM.
Drink of choice: whatever it was, it was too much, too early.
8. The one who gets really ~deep~ about stuff.
Drink of choice: it was whiskey, because that’s what Charles Bukowski drank. But after a while they stop drinking because it would interfere with making lots of wild hand gestures.
9. The Makeout Bandit™.
Drink of choice: someone else’s saliva, ewwwwww.
10. The one who becomes a parkour daredevil after leaving the bar (also the one most likely to end up in the hospital with a broken tailbone).
Drink of choice: ADRENALINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
11. The one who’s way too friendly.
Drink of choice: L~O~V~E
12. The one who always makes an Irish Exit around midnight.
Drink of choice: bed.
Illustrations by Adam Ellis
- Justice Antonin Scalia, who served almost 30 years on the Supreme Court as one of its most prominent and influential conservative voices, died Saturday. He was 79.
- U.S. Republican presidential candidates will debate tonight at 9 p.m. ET on CBS for the first time since Donald Trump's win in New Hampshire.
- Bitterly cold temperatures and arctic winds began freezing large swathes of the U.S. Northeast on Saturday.