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14 Christmas Horror Movies To Watch This Holiday Season

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, 'cuz everyone was dead.

1. Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale

What it's about: An excavation group uncovers a huge burial mound, but one grave's occupant is still alive. Turns out Santa is actually an immortal supernatural being who punishes naughty kids.

Why it's a perfect holiday movie: The movie's twist on the Santa myth is actually creepy and original.

Moment that will fill you with holiday cheer: The whole movie is a trip, but the initial reveal of "Santa" will send chills down your spine.

Rent or buy it on Amazon.

2. The Children

What it's about: It's Christmas, and all the kids in town are mysteriously getting sick and going apeshit on their parents.

Why it's a perfect holiday movie: The movie is a good way to kill 90 minutes while your little cousin is screaming about not getting the presents he wanted.

Moment that will fill you with holiday cheer: When one of the children sticks a rake in the path of an adult who's sledding, slicing his head open and killing him.

Rent or buy it on Amazon.

3. Gremlins

What it's about: A kid named Billy receives an adorable little creature named a Mogwai and immediately proves he's an idiot when it comes to pet care. Chaos ensues.

Why it's a perfect holiday movie: It's a veritable classic. And if you have kids, it's the perfect way to scare them without fully traumatizing them for life.

Moment that will fill you with holiday cheer: Any time Gizmo is on screen. Homeboy's cute as a button.

Buy it on Amazon.

4. P2

What it's about: A woman who just wants to leave work and see her family for Christmas is instead held captive by a deranged, lovesick security guard in the scariest place imaginable: a parking garage after dark.

Why it's a perfect holiday movie: Because there have probably been times you'd rather get stabbed by Wes Bentley in a parking lot than travel home for the holidays.

Moment that will fill you with holiday cheer: When the killer torments the heroine by pumping Elvis's Blue Christmas over the intercom.

Watch for free with Amazon Prime.

5. Santa's Slay

What it's about: Santa, who is actually the product of a virgin birth produced by Satan, goes on a killing spree after being forced to deliver presents for 1000 years.

Why it's a perfect holiday movie: Santa has a pretty thankless job sometimes and it's nice to seem him let his hair down and cut loose for once.

Moment that will fill you with holiday cheer: When Fran Drescher has her hair burned off before being drowned in eggnog.

Rent or buy it on Amazon.

6. Jack Frost

What it's about: A serial killer is genetically mutated and fused with snow. He then goes on a murder rampage, naturally.

Why it's a perfect holiday movie: It's so incredibly bad you can't help but love it. The special effects are garbage, the death scenes are comically drawn out and goofy, and the acting is atrocious.

Moment that will fill you with holiday cheer: When Jack refers to himself as "the world's most pissed off snow cone" before impaling a victim with an icicle.

Stream it on Netflix.

7. Sint

8. Black Christmas

What it's about: Sorority girls gettin' stabbed on Christmas. 'Nuff said.

Why it's a perfect holiday movie: Generally considered the first proper slasher movie, it's a must see for fans of the genre. It's actually pretty suspenseful, too!

Moment that will fill you with holiday cheer: Watch the 2006 remake first, then go back and watch the superior original. The entire movie will seem like high art.

Buy it on Amazon.

9. Disney's A Christmas Carol (Don't listen to what anyone says, this movie is TERRIFYING)

What it's about: A CGI lizard-person voiced by Jim Carrey is haunted by three different ghosts, also voiced by Jim Carrey.

Why it's a perfect holiday movie: Certain cynical folks will find it to be a perfect representation of Christmas: the movie values style over substance, and everyone shambles around with dead shark eyes.

Moment that will fill you with holiday cheer: The scenes where Ebenezer is flying around London are pretty dazzling.

Rent or buy it on Amazon.

10. Nixon and Hogan Smoke Christmas

What it's about: Santa steals some chronic from Sasparilla the Weed Witch, and it turns him into a zombie.

Why it's a perfect holiday movie: Produced on a budget of approximately 35 cents, Nixon and Hogan Smoke Christmas is a wonderful choice for someone who wants to smoke a little grass and appreciate some DIY filmmaking.

Moment that will fill you with holiday cheer: It depends on how much you smoke. You also probably won't remember the movie at all in the morning.

Buy it from Hack Movies.

11. Silent Night, Bloody Night

What it's about: A man inherits a mansion, which used to be an asylum. There's also a maniac hiding in the house who kills people. Uh oh!

Why it's a perfect holiday movie: The movie's creepy atmosphere is ideal for a snowy night alone. Or maybe you're not alone...? Did you check the front lock?

Moment that will fill you with holiday cheer: The knowledge that in 1972, you could buy a mansion for $50 grand.

Watch for free with Amazon Prime.

12. Silent Night

What it's about: Every year a serial killer in a Santa costume goes on a rampage, hiding in plain sight amongst the myriad Santa-clad citizens parading around town.

Why it's a perfect holiday movie: It's technically a remake of 1984's Silent Night, Deadly Night (not to be confused with the aforementioned Bloody Night) but holds little in common with the original. Did someone say double feature?

Moment that will fill you with holiday cheer: When that one particular bratty tween who hates Christmas gets axed by the killer.

Buy it on Amazon.

13. Don't Open Till Christmas

What it's about: In a twist from the norm, a serial killer is lurking around the streets of London, killing anyone in a Santa costume. How refreshing!

Why it's a perfect holiday movie: The film offers the three greatest gifts of all: bad acting, cheap set pieces, and sleazy sex.

Moment that will fill you with holiday cheer: When Caroline Munro randomly pops up and sings "Warrior of Love."

Buy it on Amazon.

14. Feeders 2: Slay Bells

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What it's abou... Actually, nevermind. Don't watch this movie, ever.