1. This cat bed shaped like a Croc.
Because a bed shaped like an UGG isn’t quite tacky enough.
2. The Meowlingual cat translation device.
This cat is saying, “Get that thing out of my face, human.”
Only available in Japan. Figures.
3. This super-stylish denim dress.
4. Cat strollers, for when you want weird looks from morning joggers.
5. The PurrDetector collar, which lights up when your cat is purring.
Not surprisingly, this collar is no longer available.
6. The Pet Master PDA
It’s probably intended for dogs, but it’s a great way to keep track of your cat’s habits too:
12 p.m.: napped.
1 p.m.: napped.
2:30 p.m.: stared at a moth on the window.
3 p.m.: napped.
7. This cat whack-a-mole game, because it’s 2013 and fingers under a blanket just won’t cut it anymore.
8. Inflatable evil unicorn horns.
The quickest way to make your cat distrust you is to strap a balloon to its face.
9. This automatic laser tower, because holding a laser pen yourself is too damn difficult.
10. Catnip bubbles.
A more creative way to get your cat stoned!
11. OPI nail “pawlish.”
No judgments, this is adorable.
12. This absolutely gigantic hamster wheel, except it’s for cats.
13. These outdoor circus cages.
The day the cat circus rolls into town is the BEST day.
14. This cat toilet-training system, complete with a DVD that probably features lots of pooping cats.
15. A “pet’s-eye view” camera that attaches to your cat’s collar.
Not only is it functional, it’s stylish. Chunky statement pieces are in this season.
16. Neuticles. Fake testicle implants for neutered pets. Yes, really.
Get a pair here, if you must.
17. This luxurious kitty wig.
18. Or this one, if your cat’s feeling wild.
19. This self-cleaning litter robot that looks like it might eat your cat.
20. This $899,000 “Amour de la Mer” collar.
Six hundred hand-set diamonds on an ostrich leather collar. Tres chic, y’all.
21. These crocheted severed fingers filled with catnip.
Teach your cats to be killers early.