1. Each year it feels like the Christmas season lasts longer and longer.
3. Everywhere you look, there are reminders of the holiday about to take over your life.
4. People start using Christmas lights in place of regular lamps and put them EVERYWHERE.
6. The deluge of Christmas cards begins to appear in your mailbox, but you have nothing to send back.
I guess you could send out a non-denominational winter festival card, but it doesn’t really have the same ring.
7. You’re really confused when you’re faced with anything that isn’t a basic Christmas tree.
Advent calendar? Is that like a calendar for advertising ventilation systems?
8. And anyway, this is the closest you ever got to a Christmas tree growing up.
9. You try to make some jokes to fit in, but some people take the whole thing REALLY seriously.
Sorry I attempted to use humor to relate to you because this holiday is literally all you’ve been talking about for three weeks now.
10. And you never quite learned the correct lyrics to all the classic Christmas songs.
11. Your friends try to make you feel part of the celebration, but it’s not quite the same.
12. You don’t have any Christmas wrapping paper, so you need to get creative when they ask you to join their Secret Santa.
13. And you stay silent during the constant “What’s on your Christmas list?” discussions.
Although I, too, would like “money.”
14. If you celebrate a different holiday, they’ve never even really understood what that holiday is.
15. And then — inevitably — someone you don’t know very well asks what your big plans for Christmas are.
Which is only awkward because of how awkward they feel when you tell them you don’t celebrate.
16. Well, there’s only ever one restaurant that’s open on Christmas day.
19. Oh, and let’s not forget about how left out you feel if you celebrate another holiday, like Kwanzaa.
20. Or dealing with the scorn of people who think “Festivus” isn’t a real thing that can be celebrated.
I think we’ll leave that determination to the rest of us, OK?