23 Struggles That People With Monotone Voices Will Understand

Yes, I am excited — I swear!

1. You constantly have to deal with people who think you’re trying to deadpan for comedic effect.

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And you have to reaffirm that, yeah, you’re serious.

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2. And when you are being sarcastic but people think you are serious.

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3. Since repeating yourself doesn’t work, you have to literally explain to them that you’re being sarcastic.

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4. When something good happens, it’s tough to get people to realize that, yes, you are actually excited.

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5. And when something bad happens: “Are you sure you’re upset? You don’t *sound* upset.”

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I get it, I sound the same. Now stop questioning my emotions.

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6. Friends have a tendency to think you are mad at them, even though you aren’t at all.

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7. So even just among a group of friends, you can get self-conscious of how you sound.

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8. That’s because your voice just makes you sound like you are always over it.

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9. So everyone assumes that you just hate everything.

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Which obviously isn’t true.

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10. Public speaking is definitely not your friend.

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11. And you’re a little bit afraid your voice will start to lull people to sleep.

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12. But even if other people aren’t tired, they always ask if you’re tired because “you just sound really tired.”

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13. Over-exaggerating all of your expressions to get your point across ends up with you just looking ridiculous most of the time.

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14. And your attempts to exaggerate your voice basically just end up as shouting.

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15. Karaoke is a no-go because your singing voice is just as flat as your speaking voice.

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16. And flirting is basically impossible.

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17. It always feels harsh when you hear that someone thinks you’re boring.

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18. Because you don’t have the cool and calm monotone of someone like George Clooney.

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A study on how monotone voices affect attracting sexual partners specifically cited Clooney as an example of how monotone can work.

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19. Instead, you’ve got the monotone of all the crazy psychopaths from movies and TV.

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No Country for Old Men, American Psycho, etc. Monotone. Murderous.

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20. Or you get people comparing you to Squidward from Spongebob.

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21. Or even to a robot, and somehow thinking that making this comparison is endearing.

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Yeah, no.

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22. You at least get some refuge online, where no one’s emotion comes across — although that leads to struggles of its own.

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23. And you don’t even realize how other people hear you because you sound so different in your own head.

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But despite all the struggles, when you speak, people listen — because you sound awesome just the way you are.

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