1. You constantly have to deal with people who think you’re trying to deadpan for comedic effect.
And you have to reaffirm that, yeah, you’re serious.
2. And when you are being sarcastic but people think you are serious.
3. Since repeating yourself doesn’t work, you have to literally explain to them that you’re being sarcastic.
4. When something good happens, it’s tough to get people to realize that, yes, you are actually excited.
5. And when something bad happens: “Are you sure you’re upset? You don’t *sound* upset.”
I get it, I sound the same. Now stop questioning my emotions.
6. Friends have a tendency to think you are mad at them, even though you aren’t at all.
7. So even just among a group of friends, you can get self-conscious of how you sound.
8. That’s because your voice just makes you sound like you are always over it.
9. So everyone assumes that you just hate everything.
Which obviously isn’t true.
10. Public speaking is definitely not your friend.
11. And you’re a little bit afraid your voice will start to lull people to sleep.
12. But even if other people aren’t tired, they always ask if you’re tired because “you just sound really tired.”
13. Over-exaggerating all of your expressions to get your point across ends up with you just looking ridiculous most of the time.
14. And your attempts to exaggerate your voice basically just end up as shouting.
15. Karaoke is a no-go because your singing voice is just as flat as your speaking voice.
17. It always feels harsh when you hear that someone thinks you’re boring.
18. Because you don’t have the cool and calm monotone of someone like George Clooney.
A study on how monotone voices affect attracting sexual partners specifically cited Clooney as an example of how monotone can work.
19. Instead, you’ve got the monotone of all the crazy psychopaths from movies and TV.
No Country for Old Men, American Psycho, etc. Monotone. Murderous.
20. Or you get people comparing you to Squidward from Spongebob.
21. Or even to a robot, and somehow thinking that making this comparison is endearing.