27 Things All Perpetually Single People Know To Be True

You’ve become a master at the single life.

1. Sometimes it feels like being single is the only constant in your life.

2. Catching up with old acquaintances always means awkwardly answering the “So, are you seeing anyone?” question.

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3. At first, friends think that they know how to solve your singleness.

4. And they tell you that online dating will get you a partner in a snap.

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5. After a while, though, they start to wonder if their efforts are making a difference at all.

6. Third wheeling is basically your full-time job at this point.

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But you know how to rock it.

7. It’s ALWAYS annoying when a friend complains that they’ve been single for “forever,” but it’s really been maybe three months.

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Do you know what the word “forever” means?

8. You keep trying to tell your parents that it’s not a big deal, but they can’t stop asking about your prospects.

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9. (Because they want the excitement of having grandkids.)

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10. You may be a relationship novice, but you’re a master at having random crushes.

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11. If someone ever asks you for relationship advice, you’re totally stumped.

I can’t really speak from experience, so… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

12. So then people tend to just ignore you when relationships come up in conversation.

13. You spend way more time at bars enjoying your drink than trying to scope out a date.

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14. Because even if you did, you don’t really have a good sense of what makes successful flirting.

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15. And you can never tell what to do when people are flirting with you.

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16. If there’s an event you want to go to, you have to decide if you want to go badly enough that it’s worth going alone (or bugging a friend for the 1,000th time).

17. Especially weddings.

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18. And anything on Valentine’s Day.

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19. Since you don’t have to buy gifts for a significant other, you’ve got a better cash flow than friends who are shacked-up.

20. People think it’s appropriate to ask how you’re “dealing with” the “difficulties” of not having a partner.

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Just…just stop.

21. Not being in a relationship means you have to work extra hard to find a snuggle buddy.

Because obviously being single doesn’t mean missing out on the amazingness of snuggle time.

22. But sleeping at night is great because you get the whole bed to yourself.

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23. And you do enjoy the level of privacy and alone time you get.

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24. But sometimes even you start to wonder if you’re destined to be forever alone.

25. And if you might turn into a crazy cat lady (or gentleman).

Although, let’s be real, animals are probably better than people anyway.

26. But no matter how long you’ve been single, you know that you don’t need to change to impress anyone.

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27. Because in the end, the single life doesn’t hold you back from being awesome.

 

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