27 Things All Perpetually Single People Know To Be True

You’ve become a master at the single life.

1. Sometimes it feels like being single is the only constant in your life.

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2. Catching up with old acquaintances always means awkwardly answering the “So, are you seeing anyone?” question.

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3. At first, friends think that they know how to solve your singleness.

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4. And they tell you that online dating will get you a partner in a snap.

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5. After a while, though, they start to wonder if their efforts are making a difference at all.

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6. Third wheeling is basically your full-time job at this point.

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But you know how to rock it.

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7. It’s ALWAYS annoying when a friend complains that they’ve been single for “forever,” but it’s really been maybe three months.

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Do you know what the word “forever” means?

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8. You keep trying to tell your parents that it’s not a big deal, but they can’t stop asking about your prospects.

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9. (Because they want the excitement of having grandkids.)

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10. You may be a relationship novice, but you’re a master at having random crushes.

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11. If someone ever asks you for relationship advice, you’re totally stumped.

I can’t really speak from experience, so… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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12. So then people tend to just ignore you when relationships come up in conversation.

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13. You spend way more time at bars enjoying your drink than trying to scope out a date.

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14. Because even if you did, you don’t really have a good sense of what makes successful flirting.

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15. And you can never tell what to do when people are flirting with you.

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16. If there’s an event you want to go to, you have to decide if you want to go badly enough that it’s worth going alone (or bugging a friend for the 1,000th time).

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17. Especially weddings.

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18. And anything on Valentine’s Day.

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19. Since you don’t have to buy gifts for a significant other, you’ve got a better cash flow than friends who are shacked-up.

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20. People think it’s appropriate to ask how you’re “dealing with” the “difficulties” of not having a partner.

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Just…just stop.

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21. Not being in a relationship means you have to work extra hard to find a snuggle buddy.

Because obviously being single doesn’t mean missing out on the amazingness of snuggle time.

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22. But sleeping at night is great because you get the whole bed to yourself.

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23. And you do enjoy the level of privacy and alone time you get.

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24. But sometimes even you start to wonder if you’re destined to be forever alone.

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25. And if you might turn into a crazy cat lady (or gentleman).

Although, let’s be real, animals are probably better than people anyway.

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26. But no matter how long you’ve been single, you know that you don’t need to change to impress anyone.

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27. Because in the end, the single life doesn’t hold you back from being awesome.

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