I used to pay our host to roll my silverware. I loathed it… I worked at Red Robin and Denny’s so I’m not talking cloth napkins, I’m talking cheap paper ones. Why is this notable? Because when you’re a server you wash your hands constantly (or at least you should) and your hands get so dried out from the cheap soap that touching the papery napkins made your ears squeak and your teeth hurt. I was a pro at my other sidework though. I could cut lemons like a champ.

You people are aware that you are 100% in control of what articles you read on the internet… right? If you think you’ll find it offensive, don’t read it.