1. You’re ready to go meet your date, but of course you’re really nervous so you need something to take the edge off
a little pregame never hurt anyone
2. You both agree to meet at a bar because everyone knows you need an easy out if the date doesn’t go well
3. You walk in and pray that he’s hotter than his pictures
or, at the very least, that you can recognize him
4. But of course that’s never the case
in fact, it’s usually the opposite
5. You get a drink and start chatting about the basics of yourselves
6. Turns out you have something in common
Who would’ve known you both think puppies are cute?
7. But then he tells you about some weird hobby he has
no, I do not particularly enjoy growing Chia pets
8. Drink up, homegirl
9. He engages in some witty banter
can you say, “no chemistry”?
10. And here comes the inevitable awkward silence
just keep drinking
11. The date is winding down and he asks if you’d like to go out again
12. But you say yes anyway because society has socialized females to be people pleasers and you don’t wanna see his face like this:
just hope he never follows through with it
13. He walks you out and may or may not go in for the kill
kiss his cheek. KISS HIS CHEEK!
14. Then you get home and have a nightcap alone
better luck next time!