The Timeline Of A Blind Date

whether you met them online or were set up by a friend, you’re about to go out with someone you’ve “technically” never met.

1. You’re ready to go meet your date, but of course you’re really nervous so you need something to take the edge off

a little pregame never hurt anyone

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2. You both agree to meet at a bar because everyone knows you need an easy out if the date doesn’t go well

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3. You walk in and pray that he’s hotter than his pictures

or, at the very least, that you can recognize him

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4. But of course that’s never the case

in fact, it’s usually the opposite

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5. You get a drink and start chatting about the basics of yourselves

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6. Turns out you have something in common

Who would’ve known you both think puppies are cute?

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7. But then he tells you about some weird hobby he has

no, I do not particularly enjoy growing Chia pets

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8. Drink up, homegirl

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9. He engages in some witty banter

can you say, “no chemistry”?

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10. And here comes the inevitable awkward silence

just keep drinking

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11. The date is winding down and he asks if you’d like to go out again

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12. But you say yes anyway because society has socialized females to be people pleasers and you don’t wanna see his face like this:

just hope he never follows through with it

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13. He walks you out and may or may not go in for the kill

kiss his cheek. KISS HIS CHEEK!

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14. Then you get home and have a nightcap alone

better luck next time!

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