1. 1. You’ve had family arguments about which bridge to take.
The Sagamore Bridge generally has a little less traffic…
…but the Bourne Bridge has that iconic sign that makes you feel like you’re entering the Jazz Age.
3. 2. Who needs Google Maps, when you can use your own arm as a map of the Cape?
4. 3. When you first get to the beach, you can’t help doing this.
5. 4. You understand the concept of low tide on a visceral level.
Which is better, walking at low tide or swimming at high tide? Don’t make me choose!
6. 5. When photographers talk about that magic Cape Cod light, you feel like they have a direct line to your soul.
8. 6. Cape Cod Potato Chips somehow taste even better in their natural habitat.
Maybe it’s the natural sea salt coming in with the breeze.
How do you get to this place? Just take Cranberry Highway. That is an actual name of a road in real life.
11. 8. You’ve learned all the unwritten rules of mini golf.
If a smaller group has caught up to you, let them play through. It’s the Cape Cod way.
12. 9. You feel sorry for anyone who has never experienced fried clams.
Other fried seafood is acceptable too, but fried clams = the Cape.
14. 10. You don’t think summer is complete if you don’t break out the lobster bib.
Wait, which Kennedy is that again?
16. 11. You’ve had a meaningful friendship with a hermit crab.
Hermit crabs > regular crabs.
17. 12. You’re pretty sure there’s a law that you must go swimming at least once a day.
19. 13. You know that Provincetown was embracing same sex marriage since before it was cool.
20. 14. When you go whale watching, there will be whales.
22. 15. You can tell people you’ve biked the most beautiful bike path on earth.
Bike the rail trail. Go swimming. Eat Seafood. Repeat.
23. 16. You have a very positive association with the word “shingles.”
Everything looks better with shingles on it. The more weathered, the better.
24. 17. You got to see all the best players in the majors when they were still in college…
25. …and it still pisses you off that they filmed Summer Catch in North Carolina.
Jessica Biel in a bikini will not distract from the fact that this is not Cape Cod!
26. 18. This is what you think bowling is.
Candlepin for the win.
27. 19. You’re grateful that drive-in movies are still a thing.
Watch a movie without leaving the comfort of your automobile? Yes, please. Might as well bring a lobster roll. No one will judge.
28. 20. You can understand why someone might feel compelled to do this:
31. 22. You know that during summer, ice cream counts as a food group.
33. 23. You know adding lobster to anything makes it better.
Lobster parking spot, check.