1. Let’s start off with some good old fashioned graphic violence. “Tell me, am I bleeding?”
Pee-O-Meter: You ain’t cool ‘less you peed yo’ pants.
(Translation: light dousing on the front of your 90s jeans and perhaps a dribble into those hiking boots you wear just for looks.)
2. Next, we’ve got our first guest star to the list, Mrs. Eupheginia Doubtfire, and the always sensual vocal stylings of Wayne Brady.
Pee-O-Meter: Drive-by fruiting saturation.
(You know Pierce put a little extra moisture in those thigh-squeezing trunks when that lime startled the back of his head.)
3. The median of our list brings us another delightful fourth seater: Stephen Colbert.
Pee-o-Meter: Five snowcones worth. “Don’t worry, it’s lemon.” - Abominable Snowman
Yeah, right, Snowman. Yeah, right.
4. Pentultimate on the list is an excellent moment of Colin’s.
Pee-O-Meter: All you people, can’t you see all the pee? (Your bladder is larger than life.)
5. And here it is, ladies and gentlemen, the most inappropriate piece of television to involve three men and a fitness guru. (That I know of, at least.)
Pee-O-Meter: Peein’ to the Oldies. All Night Long.