1. Exhibit One: The Snout
Gross. Just gross. In what world is a ‘snout’ considered cute?
In a world where it is cute and pink and snuffles (SNUFFLES), that’s where.
2. Exhibit Two: The Hooves
What? WHAT? You are that adorable and a total little chunk AND you can frolic around provocatively in the field, in little high heels no less?
Teacup Pig beats me at so many areas in my life.
3. Exhibit Three: The Fluff
HOW? What inclined God to torture us so with the tiniest, fluffiest, oinkiest pinnacle of cute on His green Earth? Adorability we could never, can never, and will never measure up to. CURSE YOU, AQUASCUM!
4. Exhibit Four: The Entire Physique
The petiteness! The proportions! The plump widdle EVERYTHING.
Teacup Pig can never go on a diet. It’s against the law.
And besides, this Teacup Pig is drinking TEA out of a TEACUP. Cuteception and slightly British which Bonus, obviously.
I realize I have been a little less than scientific in my explanations, so I’m gonna lay a formula upside ya head.
Also, I don’t know why I’m talking like that. Teacup Pigs bring out the wanksta in me I guess.
6. The Declassified Disney Cuteness Formula
As you can see, Teacup Pig adheres almost flawlessly to the Disney Cute Character Guidelines.
7. BONUS NON-ANATOMICAL REASON: Tutus
This is- I can’t- If I wasn’t a vegetarian before this post, I sure as heck am now.
ANOTHER ADDENDUM: If you support the cute of pigs continuing indefinitely, support the cause of the Pygmy Hog Conservation Programme through the Durell Conservation Trust.
They are trying to save the Smallest Pig Species on the PLANET. (Spoiler: Teacup Pigs can possibly grown into real 300 pound Pig Pigs. Bummer.)