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9 Valentine's Day Cards That Will Totally Get You A Date

Maybe, not really. True love and what-not.

Get them with puns.

Show them your passion.

Be sexy.

Show them that you truly love them.

Entice them with your Wizardry

Get all touchy-feely.

Make serious life commitments.

I mean, They'll be swooning over you.

Until they realize you're stalking them and that this is a result of hallucinatory psychosis.

Have a FAB-TASTIC day.