Breaking up is beyond traumatic. What if, mid-argument, a seasoned stuntman could fly through the window and end it? Spare us the sobbing, pleading and bargaining, can we let a professional handle this?
Babysitting is not for the weak. You’re gonna need some capable hands, hands that could cartwheel across a cliff, if needed. That’s why you call in your trust stuntperson. One that could entertain the brats while catching a foodball midair. You deserve that.
They warned you not to enter Wal-Mart on Christmas. And you promised yourself that you wouldn’t dare. But after you promised your 10-year old that special doll—well, you promised that Santa would be providing—there’s no turning back now. What if a stuntman could just do it all for you? Push past the crowds, swoop the doll and place it (giftwrapped, no less) into your arms. We can all dream.
You’re no Kobayashi and no one expects you to be. But when spicy foods arrive and you’re eating to impress, you might need to call in the big dogs. These warriors have tastebuds of steel and will happily shove jalapeños down their gullets for you. All you have to do is ask. (And pass the Tabasco!)
A helmet isn’t going to help much when you’re wheel-to-wheel in bike traffic and already late to dinner. Never fail! Your trusty stuntman has your back and will gladly speed through this mess for you. Just make sure dinner’s on you. Stuntmen are usually starving after they perform miracles.
Moving is the worst, isn’t it? All of those heavy boxes, sharp corners and realtor fees. Well, the last one we can’t help you with, but what if a muscled stuntman was on call for the rest? Boxes are no problem for your stuntman, who can even dress like you if you so choose. No one has to know it’s not you. Especially from behind.
Jaywalking is a crime, but someone’s gotta commit it. We don’t condone you cross against the light, but if you absolutely need to (even if you’re looking both ways) we recommend you call on your stand-in. These people are prepared to deal with foot traffic and won’t let you down.